I have an exciting announcement, friends. After a few years handling all speaking engagement bookings in-house, today I am happy to announce that Girls Fight Back has joined the roster of the national talent agency, Kirkland Productions!

While sometimes you can do things on your own, control the dickens out of it and save a few bucks – you gotta know when it’s time to work with a true professional and kick things up a few notches. Now is that time for us.

Enter, Gina Kirkland – owner of Kirkland Productions. (Check out the GFB webpage on her agency site here.)

Many of my respected speaker friends have raved about her, and now I see why. Nothing falls through the cracks. She insanely cares about our mission to end violence against women and girls. She’s incredibly organized and shares our philosophy of providing ridiculous customer service to people that want to book a GFB event.

Gina should wear a cape, because she’s a freakin’ super hero.

So effective immediately, if you want to bring myself or any of the GFB speakers to rock your event, you can give Gina a call at 866.769.9037 or shoot an e-mail to booking@kirklandproductions.com.

Onward!

We were honored to have Erin’s article “7 Self-Defense Tips for Women” published on Homestead Survival. It’s a really great blog that encourages self-reliance and country living.

Here’s the article.

One of our GFB team members was featured at the Women in the World conference in New York this week. Khalida Brohi from Pakistan has been part of the GFB family since 2010, and is doing incredible work to empower women both in Pakistan and abroad.

She received a standing ovation at the conference, who also featured folks like Hillary Clinton, Oprah and Angelina Jolie (who asked to take a picture with Khalida!)  Umm, yes please.

We are so proud of Khalida, of all she has done, and all she will continue to do with her organization called Sughar. Above is video of Khalida speaking at TEDxMargalla so you can get a sense of how badass she is. We’ll update with the video from Women in the World as soon as it’s available.

On December 15, I proclaimed to the interwebs that I was going offline until the New Year. I was very much looking forward to some down time, baking cookies, wearing ugly sweaters and drinking too much egg nog.

Within minutes of logging out of my social media accounts, I heard news on the radio about the shootings in Connecticut. This was just a few weeks after the massacre of a nanny taking the lives of two innocent children in Manhattan, and we all wondered how the hell this happened. Many politicians and public figures released statements in response to the Newtown killings, many of them starting with, “As a parent, I am horrified…” 

Really, you don’t need children of your own to feel the horror of 6 and 7 year olds and their educators being murdered with an assault rifle in their classrooms. You just need to be human, with even a flicker of empathy in your heart.

Later in my tech hiatus, I heard about the gang rape in India of a young woman who ended up dying as a result of the attack. She was a medical student named Jyoti Singh Pandey. The incident evoked a national outcry for women’s safety in India and a need for self-defense training. (we are talking with a few orgs in India to make this happen…) Then we heard about acquaintance rape horrors straight from the mouths of Steubenville High athletes in Ohio.

While they seemingly knew their victim, I believe it was the worst kind of predatory attack, because she probably trusted them. Not the weirdo pouncing from the bushes in the tattered hooded sweatshirt who you are CERTAIN is there to harm you, their attack is equally – if not more so – sinister.

I watched the news each day of my “break”. And I was thinking: REALLY? Now? EVER? Why? Why. Seriously. This is so F*CKED up.

But I was committed to staying offline for the holidays, despite it being torturous to NOT respond to these violent things happening in the world in a timely fashion. I couldn’t DO anything. Which left me no other option than to simply…

BE.

I got quiet a lot. I prayed. I sent light. I held space. I fought the urge to over-saturate myself with heartbreaking details of the tragedies. Then I went about my day. I snuggled my babies. I lived my life. And I showed my support where I could.

Does this seem insensitive? Perhaps. But I propose we all do it more often.

This being vs doing…it was such a foreign concept to me – but also a lesson, a gift. Knowing that major events will happen, some very sad, but your engagement in the mass pain response isn’t necessarily helping anyone. So many years, I spoke to audiences with lines of 50+ people afterwards waiting to tell me their stories. Their horrific, unjust, terrifying stories – I heard them all.

If you are one of those voices, please know I still hear you now.

But let’s be clear about what is possible in the aftermath. Yes, we can educate ourselves and others. Yes, we can rally for political support of our stance on an issue. Yes, we can engage in protests and demand change. Yes, we can take our offenders to court. Yes, we can do our part…and FIGHT BACK – but bad shit will continue to happen.

This is not pessimistic – this is real.

And this reality will not bring these beautiful souls back – however they were lost to us (emotionally or physically). I wonder if we should question our efforts, and doubt our ability to make right something that has gone so horrifically, painfully awry. Because can we really fix this? Fix friends who rape friends? Gang rapes on buses? Murdering school children while they learn their ABC’s?

I believe in prediction and prevention. But I also believe in inspiration and transformation.

In an attempt to restore our own sanity, we need to re-think what helping means. Re-think what healing means. Re-think what support means. Re-think the effectiveness of matching other people’s pain as a way of showing solidarity. Re-think progress, and re-think THINKING at all.

Maybe it’s time to feel. Time to be. Time to get back to being human. To create space for accountability and improvement. Maybe it’s time to return to love. Even when it seems utterly impossible. Even when it sucks. Even when you think it might kill you. Even when you’re sitting in the audience at a murder trial, and the murderer winks at you. (this really happened)

Because that’s when we need it most.

Last week I was working at my desk when one of those horrific-sounding emergency alerts came on the radio about the weather – or so I thought. Instantly my heart sank, as I noticed the skies outside were dark and maybe this was a tornado warning.

But this warning was different. The announcer stated the Amber Alert for missing girl Jessica Ridgeway was officially over. She was found murdered, and the search was now a mission for justice.

My heart sank further.

Then I went and picked up my kids, hugging them tighter than usual. Kissing them more than they appreciated. Doing this not just for me, but for all the parents out there who can’t anymore because someone murdered their child.

All of us at Girls Fight Back send the friends and family of Jessica Ridgeway our love, support and our deepest sympathy. We stand with you in solidarity of intolerance, and hope someday you can find peace.

When I was a guest on NBC’s John Walsh Show a few years back, John said it so eloquently:

“Parents shouldn’t bury their children.”

I’ve had a unique perspective knowing parents who have lost children to homicide over the past decade, starting with the beautiful McNamara family – the loved ones of my friend Shannon who was murdered in 2001. GFB started because of 9 little words Cindy said to me at Shannon’s funeral:

“I am just so afraid she will be forgotten.”

My outward response was a tight hug for Cindy, leaving a tear on her shoulder. My internal response was I will make sure that never happens.

Over the years I have watched the McNamaras, John Walsh, and so many others go through the stages of losing a child in a violent way. They are some of the most inspiring people I know. Our deepest hurt often inspires our greatest courage.

So how do we move forward after losing children like Jessica, and others?

The violence expert in me advises you to educate your kids and educate yourself. The self-defense instructor in me suggests you sign your kids up for a class like FAST Cats (created by GFB’s self-defense trainer Bill Kipp) or Kid Power. If you just want to dip your toe into this subject with your child, start with a Safe Side Superchick DVD. It’s awesome and totally un-scary. The researcher in me asks you to recognize that most violence and abductions involving children is committed by someone they know. The threat assessment manager in me recommends reading Gavin de Becker’s book Protecting the Gift. Costing less than $10 on Amazon, it’s one of the best investments you can make in your child’s safety.

And the mother in me advises you to go back into your child’s room after she is asleep tonight for one more kiss on the forehead.

Since I started Girls Fight Back over a decade ago, we have been blessed with many supporters. Many of them are survivors of horrific crimes who know all too well what’s at stake. Some of them have lost loved ones to violence. And often times, they are men who simply want to be part of the solution.

That’s right. MEN.

Amazing, supportive, glorious, forward-thinking men. And sometimes, these supporters are FRATERNITY MEN.

<record player screeches>

Wait, WHAT? Frat boys? Aren’t they all just a bunch of drunken date rapists?

Oh friends, let’s talk about this. Indeed, crime happens at college. Some men victimize women. But most do not. In my experience as an undergraduate student, member of Alpha Phi and someone who has worked with fraternal men since launching GFB in 2001 – I can testify that in most cases, these dudes are our greatest allies.

Chi Psi Fraternity is the lead sponsor for the GFB Tour, and I am just so proud to say that. After my first conversation with the Executive Director Sam Bessey he said to me, “Frankly, I can’t think of a reason NOT to get behind this tour.”

And my heart went pitter-patter. Mr. Bessey is one class act. But I wanted to know more about WHY they wanted to team up with us, and his team put some thought into it, and came up with these reasons below. (Warning: You will want to date, marry and pro-create with a Chi Psi man after you read this.)

• Chi Psi needs to support GFB because we’re about self-respect, regardless of who has it. Nothing’s cooler than a smart, independent woman who can take care of herself – and ward off creeps with a life-threatening credit card or car key to the throat! In fact, who knew that a Gold Card could get you a formal dress AND draw blood?

• Safety? Not a women’s issue – it’s a bullying issue (and that’s not OK for anyone).  Part of our values are to serve the needs of the broader community – and GFB offers education in a way that Chi Psi can’t.

• Chi Psi is a Fraternity of gentlemen – so while we expect that we’d never be on the receiving end of GFB’s badass techniques – we do want everyone to feel empowered and confident. Our Brothers can’t be everywhere, so we’re sponsoring GFB because we want everyone safe.

• Chi Psi supports GFB because confident women don’t scare us. Confident women SHOULD scare the jerks who use fear to try to push them around. Fight back, ladies (and if we haven’t taken the GFB training, we’ll stand behind you…literally!)

Thank you Sam. Thank you men of Chi Psi. Thanks for caring about our plight. Thanks for being hilarious, awesome and non-threatened by women who know how to regulate. Thanks for having the guts to be so public with your intolerance. And thanks for having our back.  (We got yours too.)

CLICK HERE to “like” Chi Psi on Facebook, or to leave them a little love note on their wall.

Yesterday marked 92 years since the 19th amendment passed, granting women in the United States the right to vote. Yesterday I spent a good amount of time reading about the suffragist movement, and it’s just ballsy and amazing what these women pulled off.

One thing I learned: this wasn’t a short, simple or painless crusade. As with so many other people who have fought (and are currently fighting for) equal  rights, the road is often uphill. And dirty. And rocky. With all sorts of shenanigans and people trying to delay progress.

Read this timeline, which succinctly outlines the path to voting for women in the early 1900′s…this play-by-play is fascinating. Perhaps my favorite part of the crusade went down in the Spring of 1919. Here’s what happened (from the Scholastic website):

The most prominent National Woman’s Party suffrage prisoners (including Havemeyer, Rogers, Milholland, Winsor, Vernon) tour the country on a train called the “Prison Special.” At each stop they speak about the need for suffrage and their prison experiences; between stops they threw suffrage literature out the windows for farming communities.

That’s right, they went on a speaking tour. And called it the Prison Special. How Rikers Island is that? And I thought our upcoming tour theme was edgy. These suffragists were no joke, naming their cross-country tours after their time in the Big House. Totally badass.

This, my friends, is the power of the spoken word. It is the bravery of one woman standing up and speaking her truth.

We are living in a time where we have so many communication tools: e-mail, phone, skype, social media, the Internet (and I think the US Postal Service is still in business…for now). It’s easy to forget the impact of looking into someone’s eyes, and telling them what you believe.

This is where change begins. Over a coffee. A dinner discussion. A tense debate at the office water cooler. On stage. I believe all of us can change the world…and when you have a microphone, you can do it faster.

Think about it: The ideas that spawned the greatest shifts in our society all started with a sentence. Martin Luther King Jr. is a great example, his words moving people to tears and to action. So were these maverick suffragists – and I only wish there was video of the throw-down speeches they must have delivered (not to mention the hecklers they likely endured).

This is exactly why I feel so strongly about the Girls Fight Back speaking tour that will begin in September. Wanna get on the tour? Jump on it by contacting us here. It is also why I am launching the first-ever socially conscious speakers agency later this year called Evoso. (a blended of “evolve + society” since that’s exactly what speaking your truth accomplishes)

This week, remember the great work of women’s suffragists and all crusaders for equality – both past and present. Then ask yourself how your voice can change the world. We need to hear it.

Recently a sexual assault on the campus of University of Montana has shined a light on the reality of rape on campus…that in many cases, the person committing the crime is someone you know. Someone popular. Someone who’s NOT wearing creepy aviator glasses and jumping out of the bushes…but instead, sitting next to you in Statistics class.

Here’s another college reality: If you are assaulted, there’s a good chance alcohol will play a role.

Now I know what you’re thinking. What are you saying Weed?!? “No boys? No booze? Whaaat?”

Don’t freak out…this is not to say you can’t trust guys. You can – just trust your intuition more. And please have a good time…it’s college, after all! Just know the facts and how to protect yourself.

Here at GFB, we’re all about getting real. Being real. Talking real. Not with fancy stats or scary lingo…but just telling it how it is. And teaching you how to handle it. No fuss, no drama.

So while the realities of violence in college often involve men we know (and sometimes love), and the frothy fun drink – it’s time to have a frank conversation. Enter, the name of our upcoming tour for school year 2012-13:

THE B.Y.O.B. TOUR
(be your own badass) 

The tour logo? A pink solo cup. Naturally. (Check out the superfly tour poster here.)

This Fall our GFB speaker team will be hitting the road speaking at cities across the United States. Wanna get on the tour? Then you need to know Caryn Begeschke, our Tour Director. She’ll hook you up. Tell her Weed sent you. Just call her at (303) 872-8030 ext. 103 or e-mail Caryn here.

As you may know, I won’t be doing much speaking/traveling because I’m basking in the glow of new motherhood. I welcomed my baby girl, Phoebe, to the world on June 21st. This “mom of 2 kids” thing has got me baffled, I gotta tell you. How do these women take showers? I swear, you should be glad you’re not seeing me much on this tour. I usually have dried baby vomit in my hair. (wish that was a joke – but it’s the TRUTH)

BUT…my GFB girls Bree, Heather and Megan might be coming to a city near you. And they all ROCK like Spock. So you’re covered.

OK, let’s do this. Raise your pink solo cup to GFB and say CHEERS to living the badass life we were all intended.

We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. What do you think of the BYOB theme? Is the frank conversation about boys, booze and violence long overdue?

TWEET THIS NEWS: http://clicktotweet.com/rIVpU

Tragedies like the one that happened here in my back yard in Colorado remind us just how fragile we are. How precious life is. How it can all come to a terrifying halt, amidst a sea of bullets and a cloud of tear gas.

The initial shock of the massacre in an Aurora, CO movie theater has passed, and the media has shifted its attention to the killer. (whom I will refrain from naming here, and I wish others would do the same) It makes me angry. Attention inspires copy cats and facilitates the notoriety he seeks – not to mention glorifying mass killing. It’s devastating for loved ones of victims to see his face all over the television. There are so many reasons that paying this individual no attention would seem to be the best thing to do.

But I understand why the lens is now focused on this man – who he was, the people he knew, his favorite things, his Match.com profile. Ultimately, we all just want to understand why, why, why…

Sometimes we answer our own question, and come to misleading conclusions.

On Meet the Press this morning, I watched Governor John Hickenlooper describe the shooter as a “demon”. I’ve fallen into this trap before, early in my career – still raw, angry and emotional after Shannon’s murder. I lacked more accurate terms for people I could not begin to understand. I called her killer a monster. After all, it’s easier for us to think of these assailants as non-human, to save us the horror of realizing they aren’t so different from you and me.

Take pause before casting violent people off the island of humanity. That is the exact moment we resign to ever understand their path and actions, forfeiting a valuable lesson in predicting future violence.

Why did this man commit such a horrific act? Perhaps the answer is too complicated for us to understand, or too simplistically human for us to accept. Maybe it’s because he was a deranged individual with visions and beliefs not of this world. Or maybe he just wanted someone to know his name. We may never know.

So what do we do now? How do we move forward?

We cope by devising practical plans that blend preparedness and hope. Accept the risks of being alive, and equip yourself with survival skills. Lock your doors, then say bedtime prayers. Control what you can, surrender the rest.

Fred Rogers (yeah, the guy with the awesome sneakers and grandpa sweater) offered a suggestion for upsetting times like these:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

So how do we live in a (sometimes) violent world? I suggest keeping it simple. Do good. Seek peace. Kick ass. Have fun. Hug your kids. Chase your dreams. Laugh effortlessly. Support all lemonade stands.  Smile at butterflies. Pay your taxes. Be a good person. Gaze at the moon. Go to the movies. And when things get scary, look for the helpers.

BE a helper.

Whatever you do, don’t choose fear. Don’t quit living while you’re still alive.

That’s when the bad guys win.

Last Fall I broke the news to the world that I was pregnant. I remember being overcome with emotion when I learned my due date was June 16th, because for the past 10 years June was a month of grieving.

The inspiration behind GFB, Shannon McNamara, was murdered on June 12, 2001. Her birthday was June 21st. So every June for a decade I muddled through it, waiting for July to arrive and for the sadness to dissipate. (watch this video for more on this…)

But four weeks ago today, our lil girl arrived. On Shannon’s birthday. June 21st.

Umm, WOW. Just wow.

I’m not speechless often, but I’ve barely been able to talk about it without crying bittersweet tears. (and I can’t blame hormones this time, either) I posted this on my Facebook later that day:

And so it was. I now have two angels…one in heaven, and one in my arms.

Here’s to breathing new life into all we do. And to remembering there is a reason for everything.

Bad-ass love,
Erin

Tomorrow is the day I have always dreaded – it’s the 11th anniversary of the murder of Shannon McNamara, who inspired me to start Girls Fight Back. Even worse, her birthday is June 21 – so for pretty much the entire month of June I have been melancholy – for a decade!

But I had a hunkering this year might be different after learning I was pregnant last Fall. Something started to shift and I actually wrote a blog post about it called “A New June.” I felt the energy around Shannon’s life and death shifting away from feeling like a stifling loss and towards a light that can’t be snuffed out. I felt lighter, happier…

Over the years, I believe Shannon has been my tour guide back to joy.

And thank goodness, because after doing the math I realized being miserable for the month of June for over 10 years (about 300 days!) accounted for almost a year of my life…and that’s just crazy pants.

Often when my GFB team describes our presentation and education style, we tell people it’s funny…hilarious even. People wonder how a presentation teaching skills to avoid rape and murder can possibly be amusing. Clearly it’s not the topic or the fact people experience it, either directly or indirectly, that we make light of.

But having the ability to sit and watch a GFB program and not be terrified – even smile – is a great first step to taking your power back!

For example, one of our rock star speakers named Bree Swartz often tells audiences about her daily habit of running into her apartment, and immediately darting for the bathroom. (Because, as she explains, she has the bladder of a small child.) But before she does the deed, first she opens the shower curtain to check for murderers.

OK, you probably laughed, but that doesn’t mean you think murder is funny. You’re just remembering a time you did that, and finding common ground and amusement in the shared experience. I mean, what exactly are we planning to do should we discover some dude in our bathtub…really?

This is just one example of how each of us has the power to peer into the darkness and find a lightness. It doesn’t mean the dark stuff is any less scary, it just means we don’t let it control us.

Because really, that’s what fear does. It takes over. It makes decisions. It causes anxiety and health problems. It prevents us from living the life we were intended. It smothers our greatness.

I believe anxiety and fear devastates our world just as much as violence does.

So on tomorrow’s 11-year anniversary of losing my friend, I’m going to think of all the times Shannon skipped class on a gorgeous spring day to instead put on a bikini and lay out on a lawn chair. And I’m going to remember her response to me when I asked if playing hooky was such a good idea:

“Weed, lighten up.”

Good advice my friend. I shall honor your memory this year by doing exactly that.

I am super excited to announce that I have joined the Board of Hollaback, an international movement dedicated to ending street harassment using mobile technology. I’m hoping you’ll join me in financially supporting a very exciting campaign going on right now specifically to end harassment on college campuses. Learn more about the campaign or DONATE by clicking here.

Its co-founder, Emily May, and I have been friends in the women’s movement for a long time…so it’s so exciting to join forces in a more official way. Since you’ll be hearing more from me about the great work of Hollaback in the future, here’s a little more info about them in their own words from Hollaback website. If you feel moved to get involved, please support the campus campaign!

Street harassment is one of the most pervasive forms of gender-based violence and one of the least legislated against. Comments from “You’d look good on me” to groping, flashing and assault are a daily, global reality for women and LGBTQ individuals. But it is rarely reported, and it’s culturally accepted as ‘the price you pay’ for being a woman or for being gay. At Hollaback!, we don’t buy it.

We believe that everyone has a right to feel safe and confident without being objectified. Sexual harassment is a gateway crime that creates a cultural environment that makes gender-based violence OK. There exists a clear legal framework to reproach sexual harassment and abuse in the home and at work, but when it comes to the streets—all bets are off. This gap isn’t because street harassment hurts any less, it’s because there hasn’t been a solution. Until now. The explosion of mobile technology has given us an unprecedented opportunity to end street harassment—and with it, the opportunity to take on one of the final new frontiers for women’s rights around the world.

By collecting women and LGBTQ folks’ stories and pictures in a safe and share-able way with our very own mobile phone applications, Hollaback! is creating a crowd-sourced initiative to end street harassment. Hollaback! breaks the silence that has perpetuated sexual violence internationally, asserts that any and all gender-based violence is unacceptable, and creates a world where we have an option—and, more importantly—a response.

The people have spoken. Girls Fight Back has been named 2012 Best Speaker/Program by Campus Activities Magazine! You basically gave us an Oscar of the college speaking world, and to my knowledge, this is the first time a team of speakers won the award (as opposed to an individual).

To really slather on some delicious icing on that happy cake, all you voters accomplished this after I wrote a blog post back in December telling you not to vote for us. It seems our fans are quite rebellious, and I am so humbled by you taking the time to cast a ballot.

I’m also incredibly grateful for my stellar team of speakers who made this possible. They are beautiful, bad-ass fight girls who traveled countless miles on hundreds of airplanes and rocked stages nationwide. Together our team teaches women some snazzy self-defense moves and serve as a reminder to females everywhere that we are WORTH FIGHTING FOR! (I’m lookin’ at you, Megan Ellis, Heather Maggs and Bree Swartz.)

After achieving something so monumental, one starts to ponder…now what?

It’s brutal honesty time. Leading up to our amazing news, I’d been at that critical place where most Founders of companies/organizations find themselves at some point. Do we grow? Do we simply maintain, and just rock what we’re good at? We’ve been around 10 years – that’s a long flippin’ time – is our work done here?

Recently I was presented with a business opportunity that was forcing a decision sooner than later. So I did the only logical thing, and headed to Jimmy John’s to ponder this mega-dilemma over a delicious Turkey Tom. Chomping away, I thought to myself “I wonder what Shannon would do…”

(Note: Shannon McNamara is my friend who was murdered in 2001, and is the angel who inspired Girls Fight Back.)

In the following moment, a text message dinged on my iPhone. It was from Shannon’s only sibling – her brother Bobby. More than a typical “hi” message, it was a photo of an ultrasound accompanied by news he would soon become a father.

A new life in the McNamara family is such a blessing, and yet another bittersweet reminder of the one who is so sorely missed. I couldn’t help but think what an amazing auntie Shannon would have been.

To me, babies symbolize so many things. Life. Growth. Hard work. Change. Hope. New beginnings. Bobby’s text message (and the eerily perfect timing of it) was a message from Shannon saying it’s time to bring something new to the world.

I couldn’t agree more.

Below is a post written by Chicago gal Bree Swartz, the newest addition to the Girls Fight Back speaker team. She’s a rock star, and she’s been in training for close to a year. Yesterday she hit the road, in what will be a whirlwind spring tour across the USA along with me and our East coast super-speaker, Heather Maggs. In case you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to work for GFB and be a speaker in general, Bree offers you a first-hand account. Enjoy!

I’m not a planner. Some might consider this a fault, but I like to think of it as adventurous. And honestly, I can’t help myself because over the years the events and moments that are the most unexpected are nearly, if not always, the milestones that define me. I now realize that my involvement with Girls Fight Back is no exception.

Last summer as I was flipping through Craigslist ads, I stumbled across a post for a job to travel around the states speaking to high schools and colleges and teaching basic self defense. Huh. That sounds fun, I thought. Traveling, I love. Motivational speaking has always been a job I thought I might be decent at if I had anything awesome to say. And I’ve always wanted to take a self defense class! Sure, why not submit my resume? Little did I know…

Fast forward through four interview stages, video submissions, a couple 500-word essays and a three-day self defense class (just to get accepted into the training program), I’m sitting on a plane headed to Boulder, Colorado for my Academy Training to become a speaker for Girls Fight Back. So many things were running through my mind: Had I studied the material thoroughly? What kind of self defense training was I getting myself into? What was this cabin in the mountains we were retreating to like? (AMAZING!) But the thought of ‘what are these people going to be like?’ surprisingly never really crossed my mind. Yet again, the unexpected was the best part.

My first encounter of the warm-hearted GFB team was the minute I landed in Boulder. Jenn, a mentor to the program and my ride to the cabin, called to tell me she was waiting at the baggage claim for me. Really? That’s an awfully nice gesture. I would’ve been pleased with a pick up outside, but parking and coming to greet me? How thoughtful! Maybe this group isn’t a bunch of crazy men haters.

The next afternoon I met the man who has the gentlest soul, and yet, the meanest growl I’ve ever heard (literally!), Bill Kipp, founder of FAST Defense. He’s a genius in the field of adrenaline response self defense. Aside from knowing every physical aspect of the trade, he makes himself a genuine expert by understanding beyond the theory of his methods: how our bodies and brains work under adrenal response, understanding predators strategy when hunting their prey, fighting asymmetrically vs. symmetrically…the list goes on. With 24-plus years experience in adrenaline combat, you would expect Bill to be this crazy drill sergeant. And although he plays a mean mugger, my favorite trait about Bill is his compassion.

There is so much emotion in his learning environment: sometimes it brought me to tears, sometimes is brought me to laughter, but it was always empowering; not something you find in your everyday fighting machine. He was so understanding of each individual’s situation, I felt like I knew him for years. This, I’m sure, is what makes him not just a good teacher, but a guru… his passion for his work and the people he encounters is inspirational. To hear him laugh with joy after he takes in the technique he just taught (say a palm strike to his head or an extended kick to the groin), you know this man absolutely loves teaching people to defend themselves, even at his own expense. In a mere few days, Bill gave me several invaluable gifts that I’m so very grateful for, but most of all, that of a mentor and friend.

But it’s the founder of GFB, and the most un-pregnant knocked up lady I have ever met, (no joke – I am embarrassed to admit how many times she opened doors for me and dropped me off while she went to park the car), who I am in debt to for introducing me to her wonderful crew. I knew Erin Weed and I had to work together after I left my interview last fall; I called my mom as soon as I left our meeting: “I legit have to hang out with this chick. She’s so bad ass.” And my thoughts were confirmed the minute Erin walked into the door for day one of our training. “Alright everyone, give me some love,” this 5 month pregnant CEO sang. Not exactly a back breaker of a boss.

Anyone who knows Erin will most likely agree that her core values are seen in the way she runs her company. Comfortingly, they remind me of the way I was raised in small town Indiana: The Golden Rule, treat others how you want to be treated, even when others aren’t following the rule. Honest and forward, no room for drama or BS. If you’re going to do a job, you might as well do it excellent (I think that was “do it right” when I was growing up, but in all fairness, my parents were just hoping I’d do my dishes) Self care is part of your job; you don’t benefit anyone if you’re not at your best.

In a nutshell, this is how Erin confidently carries herself, her company and the rest of our training.  She guided us through our intense speaker training often leading by example, not willing to put us through anything she wouldn’t do, even in her second trimester of pregnancy. She was always noting how it can turn into chaos when you forget where you’re at on stage or something isn’t working, but it doesn’t matter. “It’s always about them, never about you.” So selfless, which is rare in the world.

By the end of our speaker training, I felt blessed. Blessed to be learning from such amazing mentors, to be able to grow as a person with the guidance from these noble people. Blessed to be carrying on the legacy, and it IS a legacy, of an organization in honor of a dear friend whose life will touch so many people, just as it has mine. And certainly blessed to be able to take on the role of empowering women by teaching basic skills that could save their own life someday.

Our academy training came to a close and I sat absolutely thrilled having a celebratory dinner with icons in the self defense and entrepreneurship world. I’m certain I was comparable to that annoying girl in class who is constantly raising her hand with umpteen hundred questions. I just didn’t want to miss the opportunity for all that it was worth. I can’t get enough of people like Erin, Bill, Jenn and the rest of the crew at GFB whose energy is absolutely contagious.

The GFB Academy had been so much more than just training. It was a milestone. And whenever I think back to these unplanned moments that have shaped me into the person I am today, I vividly remember  the people –the friends, family, mentors, competitors, supporters, teammates, etc- are what truly made it such a memory. My training with GFB was no different.

So thank you Erin and the rest of the GFB team, for welcoming me into your family. And for this unexpected milestone in my life.  I am forever grateful.

Today I was dropping off my son at his daycare, which is also a school. I was approached by the school owner, who asked if I would deliver a Girls Fight Back presentation to his staff in September. Without even knowing my schedule, I said yes – which I never do without checking with our Program Director first. But in that moment, I knew I was being asked to give the most important and most valuable opportunity in the world. More critical than any engagement addressing the UN, or an ivy league commencement…and here’s why.

If you really needed another reason to love teachers, it’s because they have a unique opportunity to predict and prevent violence in schools. In cases like Coach Dave Sanders as a dramatic example, (Dave was the only teacher who died in the Columbine shootings in April 1999) they are willing to go to tremendous extremes for the sake of our nation’s kids. Far before events like Columbine occur, teachers may see clues that something is amiss. They interact with parents, with students and with other staff. They are observers of the environment of which our children learn in. They are the keepers of the place where our kids spend many of their days, and therefore have the opportunity to listen to some incredibly powerful intuitive messages that maybe, just maybe, something’s not right.

Then they have the opportunity to act. Maybe it’s to confront someone or simply speak up and tell a superior who can intervene. This is the new heroism, and I believe our teachers are up for the challenge.

While not every parent can offer teaching a self-defense workshop like I can, there is something else you can do. Consider buying your child’s teacher – or even better, the entire staff of the school – a copy of Gavin de Becker’s book: Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe.

We can’t save everyone from violence, not even our own children – as painful and unbearable as that thought may be. But you are not powerless! All of us can provide people the tools that just might help them save themselves….or someone else…from violence someday. Gavin’s book is a great example of that.

Here’s wishing you and your children a fun-filled year of learning and growing in a most peaceful setting.

Emily May is the founder and Executive Director of Hollaback, a non-profit organization dedicated to ending street harassment around the world.

Hollaback! was founded because we were pissed off about our inability to fight back against street harassment.  When we walked on we felt weak, when we yelled at guys the situation escalated, and the police didn’t care.

We were haunted by the idea that this was the price we had to pay for living in a city, or being a girl, and we were tired of pretending that it didn’t hurt.  So we started Hollaback.

And after six months of snapping photos and blogging about our experiences, the funniest thing happened: we stopped getting harassed as much.  At first we thought it was a fluke. But then it just kept happening: holla’ing back resulted in less harassment.

How does this happen?  For me, it was psychological. Once I knew I had a badass response to street harassment, it didn’t scare me anymore. Whereas I used to walk down the street thinking, “please don’t say anything please don’t say anything” on repeat in my head, Hollaback changed my tune.  Instead of coming from a position of fear I started to walk down the street with my cell phone camera in hand thinking, “just try me.”  It was a framework shifting.

I’m not saying I don’t still get harassed, I do.  But knowing that you can fight back, and that’s it’s not your fault, is an awesome thing.  And this is what Girls Fight Back is all about.  It teaches us that we have a response.  That we don’t just have to be silent. That we can fight back.

On behalf of all of us at Hollaback!, I want to wish a very happy 10th birthday to Erin Weed and the Girls Fight Back team.  Here’s to another 10 years of kicking butt, and reminding all of us that we can too.

Note from Erin: How I love me some Emily May! We recently enjoyed dinner and wine at the cutest French cafe in New York City, and talked for hours about a world where women felt safe enough to walk down the street. To support Hollaback!, check out their new “I’ve got your back” campaign that is designed to engage bystanders in the fight against street harassment.  And if you’re able, please donate!

Greg Ellis is the finance guru at GFB, Partner at Ellis BLB and father to 2 badass kids!

Working with the GFB team has been a great experience.  Erin has put together a great network and team to help get spread the GFB message.  I can only imagine the number of people GFB has touched in the last ten years.

Erin is the most energetic and driven person I’ve ever worked with and seems to pull off anything she puts her mind to.  Her energy and passion spread throughout the company making it so much fun to work with.

Happy Birthday GFB and thanks for letting me be a part of it!

Note from Erin: For anyone (like me) that attempted to learn Quickbooks more than 6 times in your lifetime thus far, QUIT DREAMING! Hire a stellar finance guru and do the work you actually enjoy and are good at. Seriously, asking Greg to join our team was one of the best decisions I’ve made and I’m grateful he’s made working with GFB so easy for our clients, agencies and staff. Thanks for everything Greg!

Robert Martin is Vice President of Gavin de Becker & Associates, and is widely regarded as one of the Nation’s leading experts in assessing and managing violently inclined situations.

Happy Birthday Girls Fight Back.  I remember when you were a new-born, only ten years ago.  My, how you have grown – and grown – touching many lives along the way.

In December of 2001, I sent an email to a friend in New Jersey who was looking for top notch safety programs, and my comments included the following:

“…and there is a young woman in Hoboken who teaches what is shaping up to be a very successful women’s self-defense program.  Her name is Erin Weed and she founded a program called Girls Fight Back at www.GirlsFightBack.com.”

“Success” is not always an easy term to define, but presenting to over one million people in ten years has to be on the list somewhere.

A week later, in December of 2001, Erin’s response to a pending conference call spoke volumes about her, she said: “Since I’m relatively new to the game, I’ll probably need someone to take me up to speed…but as Bob can assure you, I’m FIRED up about combating crime, assault, etc….”

And I am FIRED up about watching where the next ten years takes you.

Note from Erin: How in the world did I get someone as amazing and experienced as Bob Martin to drink our GFB kool-aid? Seriously, read his bio and you’ll understand my amazement. Bob has been my friend, advisor, expert and coach, since day one…and somewhere along the line, he also became family. Thanks for being one of our and biggest fans for the longest time…

Lee Paiva-Sinclair is based in San Francisco with 3 teenagers, a husband, dogs– in love with all. She is Founder of NO MEANS NO Worldwide, a global rape prevention program, and established the first organized women’s self-defense program in Kenya.

I first met Erin at a summer self defense conference where we were both speakers. I was actually quite new to the self defense world and had a lot to learn. Erin and I hit it off right from the start – even to the point where the next morning we came out from our respective dorm rooms with the exact same hairdo!

Through Erin and Girls Fight Back I found a whole world of light and positivity being directed at two of the darkest issues we could ever face – rape and murder. Erin found a way to shift that horror into a prism of empowerment and even humor. From where I stand, this is no small feat. Girls Fight Back is a breath of fresh air in what is typically the least popular topic on the planet. I secretly believe she is some kind of superwoman for getting girls to engage on this subject and feel cool for doing so.

Check this GFB list and judge for yourself if something supernatural is taking place:

• GFB rose from the ashes of a horrific tragedy
• Founded and run by a woman
• Delivers impactful rape prevention presentations like a female Chris Rock
• Uses bright, youthful, blackness-busting colors to re-brand the self defense movement
• Networks with like minded people and orgs like Zuckerberg on steroids
• Flies to colleges and businesses all over the country – with a baby sometimes – to deliver the good news about personal safety
• Constantly gives generously of GFB time,  resources and expertise for FREE
• Wrote an amazing book for college bound girls (the BEST gift you can give a graduating senior)
• Trail blazes the use of social networking to keep women and girls connected and active in the cause
• Creates a healthy non egoic work environment that improves and empowers her staff, not just the message
• Is not pushing a proprietary information lock down. Her safety strategies, business, marketing, promotion and media expertise are shared fearlessly. ‘If it’s useful to you and your cause – have at it.’ (Those are her exact words.)
• Calls me up and says “I was thinking about what you said and I had an idea ….” and it’s mind blowingly brilliant every time.

Girls Fight Back is a living, breathing expression of what it means to practice with purity of purpose. This is not a flowery note tacked to the end of my letter, this is my true and honest experience of Erin and the program she has created.  So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GFB! Ten years is a long time in any business and the sky is apparently the limit for you. I leave with a quote that reminds me so much of the testament and temperament of Erin and the GFB dynamic:

“The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.”

Glad we get we all get to be a little nuts together!

Note from Erin: On the day I met Lee, we sat under a tree for about 5 hours talking. It was like a time machine, that tree. Since then, Lee has become more like a sister, and she is the first person that challenged me to take GFB global. That happened, and I’m forever grateful to her for pushing the limits that only our minds seem to put on what’s possible…

Liz Meitus is a creative thinker, Marketing Manager at myFORCE and inspired to spread the word about this personal security service that you active through your smartphone.

10 years of butt-kickin’ events already??!! Well, we’re looking forward to the next 10! Thank you for your passion, your mission, and your dedication to spreading the message of safety.

You are infectious, animated, yet poignant. As one of your fall sponsors, we saw first-hand the impact that young women felt upon leaving a GFB event. Not only were young women empowered to take a stance in the face of crime, they felt amused enough to be vocal about it. I’ve never heard so many oohs-and-ahhs from an audience that’s known for a short attention span these days.

Happy Birthday Girls Fight Back!

Note from Erin: I am a big believer in partnerships…but good ones that are win-win situations, where everyone walks away happy and inspired. That describes our relationship with every partner we’ve ever had, including Liz and the folks at myFORCE. Looking forward to our collective future!