I have an exciting announcement, friends. After a few years handling all speaking engagement bookings in-house, today I am happy to announce that Girls Fight Back has joined the roster of the national talent agency, Kirkland Productions!

While sometimes you can do things on your own, control the dickens out of it and save a few bucks – you gotta know when it’s time to work with a true professional and kick things up a few notches. Now is that time for us.

Enter, Gina Kirkland – owner of Kirkland Productions. (Check out the GFB webpage on her agency site here.)

Many of my respected speaker friends have raved about her, and now I see why. Nothing falls through the cracks. She insanely cares about our mission to end violence against women and girls. She’s incredibly organized and shares our philosophy of providing ridiculous customer service to people that want to book a GFB event.

Gina should wear a cape, because she’s a freakin’ super hero.

So effective immediately, if you want to bring myself or any of the GFB speakers to rock your event, you can give Gina a call at 866.769.9037 or shoot an e-mail to booking@kirklandproductions.com.

Onward!

We were honored to have Erin’s article “7 Self-Defense Tips for Women” published on Homestead Survival. It’s a really great blog that encourages self-reliance and country living.

Here’s the article.

One of our GFB team members was featured at the Women in the World conference in New York this week. Khalida Brohi from Pakistan has been part of the GFB family since 2010, and is doing incredible work to empower women both in Pakistan and abroad.

She received a standing ovation at the conference, who also featured folks like Hillary Clinton, Oprah and Angelina Jolie (who asked to take a picture with Khalida!)  Umm, yes please.

We are so proud of Khalida, of all she has done, and all she will continue to do with her organization called Sughar. Above is video of Khalida speaking at TEDxMargalla so you can get a sense of how badass she is. We’ll update with the video from Women in the World as soon as it’s available.

Whether you are that person sharing your public displays of affection with the world or you’re getting together with your pals to curse your ex-lovers.. on February 14th, LOVE is on your mind and in the air.

Call it a “Hallmark Holiday” if you will, I think it is kind of fabulous to have a day out of the year dedicated to celebrating LOVE.

Bare with me, feisty chicas. I’m not getting all mushy on you. I know our readers our serious bad-asses. But let’s be real.. it takes one tough cookie to love and be loved. As my buddy Lau Tzu says “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

Love can be tough stuff.  And I’m not just talking about with a significant other. Having true friends that love you in and out, just the way you are with genuine pride and happiness minus any jealousy or competition, that you trust with your life..  that kind of love is a true gem. A rare gem.

And then there is family. The people that are forced to love you. As dysfunctional as it can get, if you’re lucky, you have family that love and adore you. And if you’re REALLY lucky, you actually like them back. I’m so very blessed with this kind of love.. even if we show it via some serious throw downs.

So today on this national day of love,  dig down deep, be courageous and share your love for someone. If  you’ve been hurt or burned before, be fearless, and let someone love you. Celebrate all the love in your world in every form that it comes. But most importantly, love yourself. Appreciate and accept where you are in life today and know it’s exactly where you are supposed to be. Seriously. You deserve it.

And you bet your sweet bad-ass we at Girls Fight Back love each and everyone of you.. And thank you for lovin’ us!

Happy Valentine’s Day fearless friends!

Girls Fight Back kicked off our 2013 Spring BYOB -Bring Your Own Badass – Tour last night at Shippensburg University. And oh, did they bring it!

As we got down to business, I quickly learned that the guys and gals at Shippensburg have their own little twist on the saying “ShiP happens… ” So what are you going to do about it?

And their answer to the question is a resounding “FIGHT BACK!”.

With a recent spike in assault and violence reporting, as well as nation wide media attention concerning emergency contraceptive, this small but mighty student body refuses to let ShiP just happen to them. Their feisty spirit is admirable and ready to make a difference, a change for the good.

Sometimes you have to just roll with it, and I’m all about that. But some circumstances demand that you fight back. And Shippensburg is certainly leading the way in the good fight!

Hats off to you, fearless friends at Shippensburg, and thanks for bringin’ it.

On December 15, I proclaimed to the interwebs that I was going offline until the New Year. I was very much looking forward to some down time, baking cookies, wearing ugly sweaters and drinking too much egg nog.

Within minutes of logging out of my social media accounts, I heard news on the radio about the shootings in Connecticut. This was just a few weeks after the massacre of a nanny taking the lives of two innocent children in Manhattan, and we all wondered how the hell this happened. Many politicians and public figures released statements in response to the Newtown killings, many of them starting with, “As a parent, I am horrified…” 

Really, you don’t need children of your own to feel the horror of 6 and 7 year olds and their educators being murdered with an assault rifle in their classrooms. You just need to be human, with even a flicker of empathy in your heart.

Later in my tech hiatus, I heard about the gang rape in India of a young woman who ended up dying as a result of the attack. She was a medical student named Jyoti Singh Pandey. The incident evoked a national outcry for women’s safety in India and a need for self-defense training. (we are talking with a few orgs in India to make this happen…) Then we heard about acquaintance rape horrors straight from the mouths of Steubenville High athletes in Ohio.

While they seemingly knew their victim, I believe it was the worst kind of predatory attack, because she probably trusted them. Not the weirdo pouncing from the bushes in the tattered hooded sweatshirt who you are CERTAIN is there to harm you, their attack is equally – if not more so – sinister.

I watched the news each day of my “break”. And I was thinking: REALLY? Now? EVER? Why? Why. Seriously. This is so F*CKED up.

But I was committed to staying offline for the holidays, despite it being torturous to NOT respond to these violent things happening in the world in a timely fashion. I couldn’t DO anything. Which left me no other option than to simply…

BE.

I got quiet a lot. I prayed. I sent light. I held space. I fought the urge to over-saturate myself with heartbreaking details of the tragedies. Then I went about my day. I snuggled my babies. I lived my life. And I showed my support where I could.

Does this seem insensitive? Perhaps. But I propose we all do it more often.

This being vs doing…it was such a foreign concept to me – but also a lesson, a gift. Knowing that major events will happen, some very sad, but your engagement in the mass pain response isn’t necessarily helping anyone. So many years, I spoke to audiences with lines of 50+ people afterwards waiting to tell me their stories. Their horrific, unjust, terrifying stories – I heard them all.

If you are one of those voices, please know I still hear you now.

But let’s be clear about what is possible in the aftermath. Yes, we can educate ourselves and others. Yes, we can rally for political support of our stance on an issue. Yes, we can engage in protests and demand change. Yes, we can take our offenders to court. Yes, we can do our part…and FIGHT BACK – but bad shit will continue to happen.

This is not pessimistic – this is real.

And this reality will not bring these beautiful souls back – however they were lost to us (emotionally or physically). I wonder if we should question our efforts, and doubt our ability to make right something that has gone so horrifically, painfully awry. Because can we really fix this? Fix friends who rape friends? Gang rapes on buses? Murdering school children while they learn their ABC’s?

I believe in prediction and prevention. But I also believe in inspiration and transformation.

In an attempt to restore our own sanity, we need to re-think what helping means. Re-think what healing means. Re-think what support means. Re-think the effectiveness of matching other people’s pain as a way of showing solidarity. Re-think progress, and re-think THINKING at all.

Maybe it’s time to feel. Time to be. Time to get back to being human. To create space for accountability and improvement. Maybe it’s time to return to love. Even when it seems utterly impossible. Even when it sucks. Even when you think it might kill you. Even when you’re sitting in the audience at a murder trial, and the murderer winks at you. (this really happened)

Because that’s when we need it most.

This is a guest post from a GFB friend – Katy Mattingly. She is a Personal Safety Educator and self-defense instructor at the University of Michigan, and the author of Self-Defense: Steps to Survival.

How’s that New Year’s resolution coming along?

This year a number of my friends made New Year’s resolutions to “only say yes to those activities I really want to do” or “to only take on the number of projects I can handle without driving myself nuts”.  Most students I know are in the same boat.  And most women.  Heck, most people I know are planning to conquer about 1,000 projects this year, which is a plan guaranteed to leave us feeling like frantic failures.

Another way to frame this resolution is – Practice Saying NO.  If I try to get an A on every assignment, take on every community service project I’m asked to do, or attend every event I’m invited to – I would collapse.  We simply can’t manage our workloads or our lives without saying no.

And it’s not the easiest skill to learn.  If you find it challenging to refuse anyone anything, here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Start small.  Make a list of 5 people or events you’d like to turn down, and rank them from easiest to hardest.  Start with the easiest one first – you might really enjoy saying no to it!

2. Practice.  Just like riding a bike, we’re likely to feel a little wobbly the first time we say no to joining that cool new Advisory Board or hosting the huge campus-wide 80’s dance party.  If you’re worried about how the conversation will go, ask a friend to role-play it with you a few times before you head out into the world with your big ole “No thank you.”

3. Try a three-part statement.  A simple tool for assertive communication recommended by many Personal Safety Educators: 1) Describe the unwanted behavior, 2) Describe the effect on you, and then 3) Describe the behavior you want in the future:

a) You borrowed my car again last night without letting me know.

b) I felt disrespected and I needed it to get to class.

c) I want you to ask my permission in the future.

And if it still feels hard to say no, know that you are in good company.  Explore why it’s difficult for many of us to say no, and get some great practical tips for how to do it from Lauren Taylor of Defend Yourself.

Remember, as Lauren writes: “You completely and utterly deserve to have your boundaries be known and be respected by others.”

You’re worth it!

Well, here we go again…another new year, another fresh start, another resolution.  For as long as I can remember, my resolution was always to lose weight. Year after year, I would “change my life”, go on some fad diet or extreme measure to make that year “my year”. It was miserable. I didn’t look forward to it and I never reached the kind of Victoria’s Secret success I had hoped for. My goals were unreasonable and unattainable. The year would pass and no matter any success, I would be disappointed with myself for not becoming the perfect person the new year had envisioned. And IT. WAS. EXHAUSTING.

This year. I’m done. Not because I think I’m perfect and not because I couldn’t lose a pound or two, but because I’m better than that. Let’s be clear- I have no interest in being obese or unhealthy. I have every intention of spending more time running in the morning, cooking well-rounded meals for me and my family and maybe doing a little yoga every now and then. I’m also going to eat out with friends, make brownies and eat more than I should and buy gummy bears in bulk.

It just seems that somewhere along the way, I made peace with what I have and what I don’t. I stopped being afraid of double chins in photos and instead focus on the great memory.  I stopped focusing on the size zero I will never be and instead focus on the healthier version of the person I am.

It took a long time to get to this place and, in fairness I understand that there are people who for many reasons really do have to make drastic changes. For everyone else, I hope your resolutions this year are for you and you alone. Not for the guy or girl you’re trying to impress or the person you wished you looked like or anyone in any magazine ever! Those are not real people.

I’m not a hippie dippy, love yourself kinda person. But seriously, this year, give yourself a break.

Happy 2013!  This is totally your year.

P.S. If you ever need more of a pep talk on this topic. This might be my favorite thing ever.

Well friends it’s full swing into “that time of year…” which seems to be code for colds, expensive plane tickets to see cousins you despise and drunken mall Santa’s.

Wow-wee! What a “fun” time of the year. I never realized my parents deserved an Olympic Gold Medal for surviving the holidays until I had to help put on dinner AND do gift shopping?! What?! This is crazy pants exhausting. Now I know why they were always trying to pull that “let’s go on vacation for your gifts” business.

But wait just one second. Hold the phone Mr. Grinch. Here’s a thought: what if “that time of the year” only has to be that crazy and chaotic if you allow it to be?

Yep, that’s right my feisty friends. What if YOU are in charge of you and how you handle this insane time called Holiday Season?

Because when it comes to being our own best protector’s at Girls Fight Back, we believe that means in every aspect of our life. Of course, you need to be your own best protector on the streets and in life-threatening situations. But we also need to be our own best protector’s in less obvious situations, like time management, family “obligations” and your health.

Seriously gals and guys, if you are spreading yourself too thin, (And we know you do. Yep, we’ve got your number, Type A go-getters.) it is time to realize you’re probably useless at the work party if you show up as Scrooge.  And you might as well be at home if you’re so tired you pass out during intermission at the church play.

Decide what is most important. Organize your priorities. And YOU decide, not your good friend guilt or obligation, what you have time for this holiday season.  Because as much as this time of the year is about giving, it is also about giving to yourself.. and why not give yourself a break?

I assure you, everyone will survive if you take a pass on planning the class Seasonal Party. Skip the work White Elephant if you’re just not feeling it. Not up for making the traditional family fruit cake  for dinner? Aunt Ethel will understand.. or get over it. Either way, the holidays should be fun, loving and enjoyable for EVERYONE.

So sit back, take an extra sip of the eggnog (the full fat kind, oh yeah) and make sure you protect yourself and your sanity this Holiday Season. You have our blessing. And the world, and even your loved ones, will thank you.

Happy Holidays to YOU, our kick ass readers!:)

You guys. It’s been so long since I’ve been around that I totally had to ask how we posted blogs again. Also, I’m not the most technically savvy…but either way, I’m back. Some stuff went down. I moved to the other side of the country, I worked on other projects…oh, and I had a bambino.

Life has been really busy, but I’m really excited to throw my hat back into the ring. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect this year, plus having a baby can make you kinda sappy. I thought of some of the lessons I’ve learned, the things that brought me to where I am now and thought I would share. This isn’t the complete box set or anything- I’ll probably pick up a lesson or two along the way.

Things I’ve Learned the Hard Way

1. Good relationships involve very little drama. I use to think that all the arguing and wretched emotion involved in past relationships was because well…that’s just what love is. Then I met the right person…and all that drama went away.

2. Being the person who knows and shares the most gossip does little for you. Back in “the day” (you know, that day) I would definitely have fallen into the Little Miss Know-It-All category. Then I got a job in security and I was kinda forced to keep my mouth shut. That trickled into my personal life and from there I learned patience, honor, dignity, trust…and now my friends really do tell me everything.

3. You really should pay attention in foreign language class and keep it up after you graduate.  I’m personally not a fan of the thought that this is America and everyone should “speak English”. Truth is, we’re a big ‘ol melting pot of amazing cultures. I have come across (and you will too) some awesome people I wish I could have sat down and had a great conversation with beyond “I like your blue shoes.”

 4. Being right is incredibly overrated.  I use to feel the need to fight over the smallest things, even with people I didn’t know. Like, one time I actually argued with one of those people holding a sign and yelling about their political cause on a street corner. I mean, they gave up their day, made a sign and were stopping people on the street. They were in it to win it- and I thought I was gonna mosey on in and change their mind? Look. People are different. Our life experiences have given us all unique perspective. On that same note, some people just don’t get it- whatever your “it” is.  It’s not worth it. The person who can walk away always has the most power. Find a better, more constructive way to fight the good fight, whether it be politics or what color to paint your family room. Note: I did win that one

5. You should always take the opportunity to stand up for others. Here is how this is gonna go down: Someday something not cool is going to be happening right in front of your eyes. Some kid or co-worker or person you’ve never met is going to be picked on, belittled or embarrassed publicly- and you will have to make a choice. You can remain quiet and hide in the crowd or you can do something about it. Life will go on either way you choose, but if you chose to do nothing- I promise the memory of what you “should” have done will never really go away. Note: I’m not referring to life and death here. Those are unique situations that require thoughts of personal safety.

6. Being nice really is important. Like, really. This is so basic and I’ve never been a “mean” person but I didn’t necessarily always go out of my way to be kind. Kind is a word that if people used to describe my child one day, would make me the most proud.  And I know that they will, because he will learn that from his parents. One of the things I love most about my husband is that he is “that guy” who grabs peoples’ luggage for them at baggage claim, walks friends to their cars after a night out and no matter if it’s the crossing guard, cable guy, or our restaurant server always addresses people by name and says “Thank you so much. I appreciate your help.” If you bring dignity and thanks to people around you, they will give it back to others.

And the world goes round….Happy Everything…looking forward to a great 2013!  - GFB Megan

Last night I threw down with the Indiana University Hoo-Hoo-Hoo Hoosiers! As seen above, Girls Fight Back welcomed several ladies and gents to master the Badass Ballet, as well as some improvised weapons and basic ground fighting. The energy was just awesome!

A special thanks to IU’s Union Board for hosting a stellar event and taking a stand to fight back against recent assaults on campus. Born and raised in Indiana, I was especially proud to see such leadership and empowered young blood in my home state. Way to hold your own Hoosiers!

The Wildcats of University of Arizona hosted my first Students Fight Back program on the #BYOB12 Tour. My hats off to the Panhellenic team for hosting GFB, but mostly for embracing our idea of FIGHTING BACK!

During my visit, I learned within the last year there had been attacks at UofA, including a student being sexually assaulted in the back of taxi by the driver. Scary, huh? This story stuck out in my mind because, let’s be honest, I can remember a time or two when my friends and I poured ourselves into a cab after one too many cocktails. So naturally, this story scared the crap out of me.

But after talking with the PanHellenic rep, I learned that although students may have had that initial shock, they weren’t going to let these assaults keep them living in fear. They weren’t going to stop going out or stop taking cabs. Instead, these fierce Wildcats wanted to know what they could do to protect themselves. How could they fight back?

And thus, they made the ever-so-wise choice to bring GFB in house to gain some seriously empowering ass-whoopin’ skills.

We didn’t tip-toe around the real world of college life either. We broke it down. Real talk. Yes, most assaults on campus occur when alcohol is involved and yes, alcohol affects your decisions. But it doesn’t mean you can’t go out without being attacked. It just means you need to go out smart: Trust your intuition. Don’t leave your drink or take one without seeing it poured, whether it is apple juice or gin & juice. And ALWAYS go out with friends, go home with friends… People that got your back.

But we not only talked the talk, we walked the walk with some lethal groin kicks and palm strikes. Oh yes, we went balls-to-the wall, so to speak.

These Wildcats took the first steps in leading a safer life. They didn’t shy away in fear after their peers had been attacked, but instead made the bold choice to be their own best protectors, while still enjoying college life. And that, my friends, is fighting back.

So thank you to the guys and gals of University of Arizona for hosting GFB. But most of all, thank you for reminding everyone that even after tragedies, on our own time and in our own way, we not only can, but we must fight back!

On Tuesday night this week I had the honor to throw down with some stellar students at Cornell University for the BYOB12 Tour. Given their Ivy League status, I think genius smart (or “Andy” from The Office) typically comes to mind when you think of Cornell.

However, I got to see these smarty pants kick some ass. And to hear them tell it, it’s about time.

Given several recent assaults at Cornell, leaders in the Greek community are working to empower and educate students. But these Cornellians want to do more than just talk the talk, as both men and women were ready to put the books aside for a serious lesson in Bad-Ass Ballet.

By the end of night, I was humbled to see several students, especially the gals, walking out with comments of feeling safer, stronger and more empowerd.

So I have to thank you, Cornell students, for inviting Students Fight Back to take part in your campus awareness. But more importantly, thank you for having the guts to address these serious campus issues that are often easily swept under the rug at such prestigious schools. Those of you taking the stand to be your own best protectors are the true brainiacs on campus. With brawns, of course.

Last week I was working at my desk when one of those horrific-sounding emergency alerts came on the radio about the weather – or so I thought. Instantly my heart sank, as I noticed the skies outside were dark and maybe this was a tornado warning.

But this warning was different. The announcer stated the Amber Alert for missing girl Jessica Ridgeway was officially over. She was found murdered, and the search was now a mission for justice.

My heart sank further.

Then I went and picked up my kids, hugging them tighter than usual. Kissing them more than they appreciated. Doing this not just for me, but for all the parents out there who can’t anymore because someone murdered their child.

All of us at Girls Fight Back send the friends and family of Jessica Ridgeway our love, support and our deepest sympathy. We stand with you in solidarity of intolerance, and hope someday you can find peace.

When I was a guest on NBC’s John Walsh Show a few years back, John said it so eloquently:

“Parents shouldn’t bury their children.”

I’ve had a unique perspective knowing parents who have lost children to homicide over the past decade, starting with the beautiful McNamara family – the loved ones of my friend Shannon who was murdered in 2001. GFB started because of 9 little words Cindy said to me at Shannon’s funeral:

“I am just so afraid she will be forgotten.”

My outward response was a tight hug for Cindy, leaving a tear on her shoulder. My internal response was I will make sure that never happens.

Over the years I have watched the McNamaras, John Walsh, and so many others go through the stages of losing a child in a violent way. They are some of the most inspiring people I know. Our deepest hurt often inspires our greatest courage.

So how do we move forward after losing children like Jessica, and others?

The violence expert in me advises you to educate your kids and educate yourself. The self-defense instructor in me suggests you sign your kids up for a class like FAST Cats (created by GFB’s self-defense trainer Bill Kipp) or Kid Power. If you just want to dip your toe into this subject with your child, start with a Safe Side Superchick DVD. It’s awesome and totally un-scary. The researcher in me asks you to recognize that most violence and abductions involving children is committed by someone they know. The threat assessment manager in me recommends reading Gavin de Becker’s book Protecting the Gift. Costing less than $10 on Amazon, it’s one of the best investments you can make in your child’s safety.

And the mother in me advises you to go back into your child’s room after she is asleep tonight for one more kiss on the forehead.

Last night I spoke at my first Big Ten school on the Girls Fight Back “BYOB: Be Your Own Badass” 2012 Tour. Yes, I threw down with about 200 Greek gals at the University of Iowa.

And boy did they bring it: The energy was flowin’ and the palm strikes were throwin’. By time we learned the Badass Ballet and the gals added their own verbal grunts (it rocked), I’m pretty sure everyone in there was on a bit of an adrenaline rush.

But I think my favorite part of the night was reviewing the feedback and Twitter buzz, as we always ask the women at every event to join us online to create some commotion via Facebook and Twitter @girlsfightback #byob12. And boy did they ruffle some feathers.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude as I read the  kick-ass feedback. The BEST part of my job is when a young lady reveals that after learning what GFB is all about, she feels a little stronger, a little more self-assured and a lot more badass. Seeing things like  “I’m worth fighting for” and “I can actually do this stuff!” and my personal favorite, “God help the idiot who tries to attack me” are completely humbling. I knew these women were fierce the minute I met them, they just needed a little nudge to unleash their Mama Bear. And let me tell you, it is one of the greatest gifts in the world to help empower these amazing women.

So thank you Hawkeyes for bringing your own badass and throwing down with me last night. Thank you for all of the love. But most of all, thank you for giving me the gift to watch you walk out of that room a little bit taller last night, ready to kick any idiot’s ass that tries to attack you.

Since I started Girls Fight Back over a decade ago, we have been blessed with many supporters. Many of them are survivors of horrific crimes who know all too well what’s at stake. Some of them have lost loved ones to violence. And often times, they are men who simply want to be part of the solution.

That’s right. MEN.

Amazing, supportive, glorious, forward-thinking men. And sometimes, these supporters are FRATERNITY MEN.

<record player screeches>

Wait, WHAT? Frat boys? Aren’t they all just a bunch of drunken date rapists?

Oh friends, let’s talk about this. Indeed, crime happens at college. Some men victimize women. But most do not. In my experience as an undergraduate student, member of Alpha Phi and someone who has worked with fraternal men since launching GFB in 2001 – I can testify that in most cases, these dudes are our greatest allies.

Chi Psi Fraternity is the lead sponsor for the GFB Tour, and I am just so proud to say that. After my first conversation with the Executive Director Sam Bessey he said to me, “Frankly, I can’t think of a reason NOT to get behind this tour.”

And my heart went pitter-patter. Mr. Bessey is one class act. But I wanted to know more about WHY they wanted to team up with us, and his team put some thought into it, and came up with these reasons below. (Warning: You will want to date, marry and pro-create with a Chi Psi man after you read this.)

• Chi Psi needs to support GFB because we’re about self-respect, regardless of who has it. Nothing’s cooler than a smart, independent woman who can take care of herself – and ward off creeps with a life-threatening credit card or car key to the throat! In fact, who knew that a Gold Card could get you a formal dress AND draw blood?

• Safety? Not a women’s issue – it’s a bullying issue (and that’s not OK for anyone).  Part of our values are to serve the needs of the broader community – and GFB offers education in a way that Chi Psi can’t.

• Chi Psi is a Fraternity of gentlemen – so while we expect that we’d never be on the receiving end of GFB’s badass techniques – we do want everyone to feel empowered and confident. Our Brothers can’t be everywhere, so we’re sponsoring GFB because we want everyone safe.

• Chi Psi supports GFB because confident women don’t scare us. Confident women SHOULD scare the jerks who use fear to try to push them around. Fight back, ladies (and if we haven’t taken the GFB training, we’ll stand behind you…literally!)

Thank you Sam. Thank you men of Chi Psi. Thanks for caring about our plight. Thanks for being hilarious, awesome and non-threatened by women who know how to regulate. Thanks for having the guts to be so public with your intolerance. And thanks for having our back.  (We got yours too.)

CLICK HERE to “like” Chi Psi on Facebook, or to leave them a little love note on their wall.

“You want what you can’t have.” We’ve all heard it, and probably lived it more times than we’d like to admit. But, I think this is exactly what went down when I visited New Mexico Tech on the Girls Fight Back BYOB 2012 Tour.

Allow me to explain: The same day GFB was making a stop at New Mexico Tech, there was a meeting on campus about self-protection and awareness. My friends who hosted GFB (and threw a stellar event) invited only the ladies to the BYOB Tour later that night.

Fast forward to that evening, I’m waiting outside the auditorium pointing people in the right direction to learn the “Badass Ballet,” my favorite self defense moves. In the process, I kid you not, I’ve never seen so many dudes ask and complain about not being invited to the GFB throw-down! It was hilarious.

Although I got a kick at how these guys legit wanted to come see what they were missing out on soley because they hadn’t been invited, I assured them they were more than welcome. ‘We are not a bunch of man-haters.’ It’s only together that we will win this cause. So come one, come all.

I was very impressed that a couple of the gentlemen took me up on my offer and supported their fellow lady friends as they learned to seriously kick some booty. So thank you to all the ladies (and men) of New Mexico Tech for having GFB and for joining forces to make your campus a kick ass and safe place.. even if we had to lure you there by make the grass greener on the other side:)

OK, so I have been FORCING myself to watch the entire series of Desperate Housewives.  I can’t honestly tell you why other than to say that I am very goal driven and by God when I start something, I finish it.  I have suffered through murders, miscarriages, plane crashes, suicide attempts – all the gold standard events for a soap opera.  And last night I caught an episode where the ladies decide to take a self-defense class.

Ok, first can we agree that this may possibly be the worst format for a self-defense class ever?  The instructor makes like 30 seconds of intro and then tells the students to choke each other from behind while he just walks around watching.  Huh?

But the real thing that caught my attention on this episode was a quote from Susan “may be the worst mother/most annoying TV character ever” Mayer-Delfino’s daughter Julie.  In this episode, she is dealing with the emotions brought on by a recent attack in which a masked stranger attempted to strangle her.  As the women of Wisteria Lane determine that they are going to take a self-defense class, Julie says something along the lines of “I was taking out the trash when someone came out of no where and choked me from behind.  If someone wants to get you, they are going to get you.  No matter what you do.”

I had to think about this a lot because in a way, she is right. There are some situations where fighting back isn’t possible.  And we may never know exactly what percentage of attacks can be thwarted by self-protection and what percentage can’t.

But here’s the thing: Couldn’t we use that rationale for anything?  What about all the thousands of people who get CPR and first aid training each day?  Couldn’t we just say “well, if someone is going to die, they are going to die so why bother”?  Couldn’t we say that for ANY medical intervention?  Of course not.  Because we KNOW that those things save people’s lives.  We see and hear about it everyday.  We don’t hear about success stories in self-protection nearly as often, but they are out there.  At Girls Fight Back, we strive to share and celebrate those successes every time we hear about them.  If you see a story in the media or have a personal story you’d like to share, we’d love for you to e-mail us or share in the comments below.

In reality, I may never use the countless hours of training I’ve gone through.  If I’m lucky, I’ll never have to really physically defend myself.  But going through self-defense training is so much more for me than just knowing how to kick someone’s butt if needed.  It’s about carrying myself with confidence.  It’s about sleeping easier at night.  It’s about being my own badass so that I never have to rely on someone else to take care of me.  And it’s about never giving up hope because if something terrible were to happen to me, I would do everything in my power and might to protect myself and the people I love.

I close with my Personal Safety Tip of the Day: don’t live on Wisteria Lane.  That neighborhood has a disproportionately high amount of violent crime.  Like whoa.

I had such a great time yesterday at the University of South Carolina – Lancaster campus.  I presented a lunchtime Students Fight Back program and I have to say, it was the BEST lunchtime crowd I’ve ever had!

At each school we meet awesome women and men who are all working to make their campuses safer.  My SBG at USC, Cory, was just the nicest guy you ever did meet!

Doesn’t he just look so friendly?!?  So often in violence prevention, we are forced to focus on the statistical reality that men are more likely to perpetrate violent crimes than women are, but when I meet guys like Cory it reminds me that there are good guys everywhere!

Feel free to give a shout out to the good guys in your life in the comments below!

Traveling across the country for GFB, I get to meet a lot of fun, new people. But sometimes I get to make those much-needed pit stops at schools where, well it’s kind of like that favorite hang-out spot… everyone know’s your name. This is how I would describe my second stop of the BYOB 2012 Tour at Baylor University.

After having us in their house for several consecutive years, Baylor University knows all about GFB. And boy, do they make you feel welcome. With personalized T-shirts (photos to come), Dr. Pepper Floats and shouting out The Badass Ballet they’ve memorized.. all I’ve got to say is, Baylor University… I love you.