Very recently, I took one of my favorite people to a krav maga class to put her on the path to becoming her own best protector and to show her fighting is not about strength or size (she’s “fun sized” like me), it’s about spirit and will. Well, she loved the groundfighting portion of the class and is figuring out a plan on how to fit more classes into her life and budget. Mission accomplished!
However, we were driving back from the martial studios and she asked me a very common question: How do I keep bad guys away from me? I started talking to her about being a bad victim/hard target, especially on the street when she popped in a surprising question. She asked me, “What do mean bad victim . . . like wearing pants?” Now keep in mind my friend is a strong, educated, and successful woman. However, she also proved that there are still unfounded stereotypes about how women should act in the world if they want to avoid attackers. For example, if you don’t want to be attacked, don’t do the following: wear a skirt, wear a dress (especially if it’s short), wear high heels, or go out by yourself at night. I think it’s time we put these ideas and stereotypes to rest because they’re not accurate, they’re not empowering, and they’re not even practical. I do not know one woman who never has to walk to car by herself or occasionally dress up her style with an adorable dress or skirt. And you know what? We have every right to do both of those things. That’s right, it’s your right to walk around by yourself and look fabulous doing it!
My friend and I kept talking about what it really means to be a bad victim on the street and I did my best to explain to her that it’s really not about what you wear. It’s how you carry yourself. Carry yourself with confidence, use strong body language and make a choice to be aware of what is around you and you are being a bad victim, even if you are wearing a skirt while walking to your car by yourself at night. I encourage all women to be a bad victim but I also encourage doing it with style!