Self-defense: A False Sense of Confidence?

The following is a guest blog by our good friend, Kate Webster, Ph.D. She is the Director of Violence Prevention Programs at Thousand Waves Martial Arts & Self-Defense Center in Chicago, IL. This gal kicks ass – and she uses her fancy advanced degree as an improvised weapon. *kidding* Seriously, she’s brilliant and she rules. Here’s Kate’s response to a recent interview on the Today Show that made all of us at GFB throw up in our mouths a little bit. -Erin

When I was in college, I knew there were dangers on my campus, as there were on any campus, and I wanted to be smart about being safe. Yet, all I heard was a bunch of don’ts.

Don’t walk alone at night, don’t go to fraternity parties, don’t get drunk at parties, don’t wear short skirts, don’t dress like you’re asking for it. Sound familiar?

To be safe, I was told to walk with a guy at night, carry mace or a siren whistle, or use the “blue” campus phones. But these tips always confused me because what if I didn’t have a guy friend to walk with me or want to carry mace or couldn’t find a blue campus phone?

Now, don’t get me wrong, some of this advice can be quite wise—it can be safer to walk with someone you know and trust, and mace or a whistle can help to stun or startle an attacker so you can get away. What confused me at the time was how the tips seemed to say that I had to rely on someone or something else to help me to feel safe. Couldn’t I stand up for myself, by myself? Luckily, a number of years later, I stepped into my first women’s self-defense class and found my answer to be a resounding yes.

I’ve been teaching self-defense ever since that first 12-hour course and firmly believe that we all have the power to stop, prevent, thwart, avert and successfully confront an attack through the most peaceful means possible—which sometimes might mean being physical and striking back, but more often means being assertive, strong, empowered, confident, and knowing you are worth defending.

However, not everyone seems to agree. On the Today show a couple of weeks ago, Pat Brown, a criminal profiler, denounced self-defense for young women, claiming it gave them a false sense of confidence. She erroneously claims that in self-defense classes, girls and young women learn to punch incorrectly and kick in high heels. And, according to her assessment, it’s not going to work—especially against a 200 lb Mike Tyson type of attacker.

I was so frustrated and saddened by these comments. Not just because they are incorrect—we teach untrained techniques such as a palm heel or a knee kick and not a trained one such as a punch—but because they are damaging to girls’ and young women’s ability to feel strong, empowered, and capable of taking care of themselves.

Peppered throughout her interview are comments of what we need to do to keep our girls safe and I was sorely reminded of those don’ts I heard back in college. Not a single time did she mention what girls and young women can do for themselves to keep themselves safe. She has a point that there are things all girls and young women can do to keep more safe, but let’s not blame them for wearing sexy clothing, having a few too many drinks, or wanting the freedom to walk home alone. Instead, let’s give them tools to feel strong and confident so they can make the best choices for themselves, and  decide for themselves if they want to have a drink, wear a short skirt and walk home alone.

The self-defense we teach at Thousand Waves Martial Arts & Self-Defense Center teaches teens and adults of all genders how to feel stronger in their mind and body and make the most peaceful choice in the face of violence that is appropriate for themselves. Giving individuals a sense of their own agency and a capacity to make decisions for themselves—the bad along with the good—is the true gift we can give the young people in our lives.

Antalya Escort Aksu Escort Alanya Escort Demre Escort Döşemealtı Escort Elmalı Escort Finike Escort Gazipaşa Escort Gündoğmuş Escort İbradı Escort Kaş Escort Kemer Escort Kepez Escort Konyaaltı Escort Kumluca Escort Manavgat Escort Muratpaşa Escort Serik Escort adana escort adıyaman escort afyon escort aksaray escort amasya escort ankara escort antalya escort ardahan escort artvin escort aydın escort balıkesir escort bartın escort bayburt escort bilecik escort bolu escort bursa escort çanakkale escort çankırı escort çorum escort diyarbakır escort düzce escort edirne escort erzincan escort erzurum escort eskişehir escort gaziantep escort giresun escort gümüşhane escort hatay escort ısparta escort istanbul escort izmir escort kahramanmaraş escort karabük escort karaman escort kars escort kastamonu escort kayseri escort kilis escort kırıkkale escort kırklareli escort kırşehir escort kocaeli escort konya escort kütahya escort malatya escort manisa escort mardin escort mersin escort muğla escort nevşehir escort niğde escort ordu escort osmaiye escort rize escort sakarya escort samsun escort sinop escort sivas escort tekirdağ escort tokat escort trabzon escort uşak escort van escort yalova escort yozgat escort zonguldak escort nevşehir escort gold escort

42 thoughts on “Self-defense: A False Sense of Confidence?

  1. Lauren

    Right on- to Teaching the tools!

    The old Chinese proverb comes to mind… about giving a fish (for a day) vs. teaching to fish (for a lifetime)

    Arrested Development lyrics version now is in my head…. (edit the gender!)

    Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day
    Teach him how to fish and he’ll eat forever…..

    Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day
    Teach him how to fish and he’ll eat forever…..

  2. Susan

    Description of Pat Brown via a radio show she’ll be appearing on tomorrow: “Brown, who is a frequent go-to expert on Nancy Grace and other shows on HLN, CNN, MSNBC, CBS, and NBC, shouts loud and clear that every young woman is vulnerable to a plethora of unforeseen dangers.” (

    How many disempowering, over-generalized, patronizing characterizations can they pack into one sentence?
    1) EVERY young woman
    2) is VULNERABLE to
    3) a PLETHORA of
    4) UNFORESEEN dangers.

    Thank you to Thousand Waves, Girls Fight Back, and everyone who is actively working to provide women tools for their own safety, so we don’t have to just stay home where it’s “safe,” and watch Nancy Grace.

  3. Siegrid

    Yeah, I think why not have both? Why not have some pepper spray in your purse as well as the training to get physical and run. Situation appropriate. Makes the most sense to me. Have tools and training… Because it’s true that if you have mace, it might not be easy to get to, and you might have to resort to special measures… fyi

  4. web hosting is

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog
    and was wondering what all is needed to get set up?
    I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty
    penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% positive. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

  5. web hosting or

    Spot on with this write-up, I absolutely feel this website needs
    much more attention. I’ll probably be returning to see more, thanks for
    the information!

  6. web hosting with

    I’m really impressed together with your writing talents and
    also with the structure for your weblog. Is this a paid topic or did you customize
    it your self? Either way stay up the excellent high quality writing, it is
    uncommon to look a great weblog like this one nowadays..


    Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to
    my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.”
    She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and
    it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know
    this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!


    Thank you for another informative website. Where else could
    I get that type of information written in such an ideal manner?

    I have a challenge that I’m simply now working on, and
    I have been on the look out for such info.


    Hello to every one, it’s actually a good for me to go
    to see this web site, it contains valuable Information.


    Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon every day.
    It will always be interesting to read articles from other authors and practice a little something from their web sites.

  11. asmr was

    When some one searches for his essential thing, thus he/she desires to be available that in detail,
    so that thing is maintained over here.

  12. off asmr

    Pretty component of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital
    to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your weblog posts.
    Anyway I’ll be subscribing in your feeds and even I success
    you get entry to persistently fast.

  13. asmr where

    Unquestionably consider that which you stated. Your favorite
    justification seemed to be at the internet the easiest
    factor to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed at the same time as other people think about issues that they just do not realize about.

    You controlled to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , other people could take a signal.
    Will likely be back to get more. Thanks


    Pretty part of content. I simply stumbled upon your site and in accession capital to assert
    that I acquire in fact loved account your weblog posts.
    Anyway I’ll be subscribing for your feeds and even I achievement you get right of entry to persistently rapidly.

  15. or asmr

    Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective.
    A lot of times it’s tough to get that “perfect balance” between usability and visual appearance.
    I must say you’ve done a excellent job with this.
    Additionally, the blog loads super fast for me on Opera.
    Excellent Blog!

  16. asmr for

    Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to
    and you’re just extremely wonderful. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it.
    You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it smart.

    I can not wait to read much more from you. This is really
    a terrific website.

  17. an asmr

    It’s enormous that you are getting ideas from this paragraph as well as from our dialogue made here.

  18. the scoliosis surgery

    Very great post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I’ve truly loved surfing around your weblog
    posts. After all I will be subscribing in your rss feed and I’m hoping you write
    once more very soon!


    Have you ever considered writing an e-book
    or guest authoring on other sites? I have a blog based upon on the same
    topics you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers
    would value your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
    cheap flights cheap flights

  20. but ps4 games

    Good site you have got here.. It’s difficult to find good quality writing like yours nowadays.
    I truly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!

  21. Buy Henry Firearms Online

    718090 75455Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything like this before. So good to search out any individual with some original thoughts on this topic. realy thank you for starting this up. this web site is 1 thing thats wanted on the internet, somebody with a bit of originality. valuable job for bringing something new to the internet! 821054

  22. Alfonzo Hilferty

    Hello there, simply became alert to your blog through Google, and located that it’s really informative. I am gonna watch out for brussels. I’ll appreciate in the event you proceed this in future. Numerous folks will likely be benefited from your writing. Cheers!|

  23. Myra Sukeforth

    Hi there! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my iphone 4. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to fix this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share. Thank you!|

  24. Catina Auman

    Hello, always i used to check blog posts here in the early hours in the daylight, for the reason that i enjoy to find out more and more.|

  25. 솔루션임대

    772831 87032Its truly a terrific and helpful piece of information. Im happy that you just shared this beneficial info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thank you for sharing. 168390

  26. Ginette Tirpak

    Wow! After all I got a blog from where I be capable of genuinely take valuable facts regarding my study and knowledge.|

  27. sexy göstermek german şaplak atmak

    Ve ayrıca: göt yalama uzun, kız götü yalama, erkek götü yalayan, erkek göt sikme,
    prostat massage, asslick rimjob, erkek götü yalayan kadın, prostate massage, götü yala, licking, erkek götü yalamak, göt yalama video,
    travesti göt yalama, amateur strapon, mature göt yalama, genç göt yalama,
    büyük göt yalama, siyah göt yalama, taşak yalama, göt yalama threesome.

  28. Mobilden Körpe Kizlar 14 Porno Indir

    Arap güzel karısı Yıldızlı Otel Vdo Patron ile sikikleri.
    Hile desi karısını sikiyor patron. ⚓ Kategori: kocası, koca,
    bu ayın elemanı, iyi bir sekreter, korkunç patron karım, eşimin patronu.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.